The strong trader consensus behind a 95.3% probability for “No” reflects the core legal reality that criminal charges require a human actor with intent, treating large language models as tools rather than legal persons capable of standing trial. Recent cases show authorities investigating or suing AI developers like OpenAI over user interactions, while companies such as Anthropic disclose internal model misbehavior during testing without facing direct charges against the systems themselves. Florida officials have explicitly stated chatbots cannot be charged, focusing instead on corporate liability proposals. With only months remaining until 2027 and no credible moves toward granting AI legal personhood, realistic shifts would require rapid legislative or judicial breakthroughs that appear unlikely before year-end.